A Woman’s Independence Exhibits Feminine Beauty

Your independence transforms you into a whole woman, possessing qualities that will naturally draw men to want to know you and be with you. By being independent, you create lasting beauty that will bring you more fulfillment in life than physical beauty ever can.

The geisha captured men’s hearts because she was an independent woman. She was considered one of the first modern women in Japan and possessed an independence and freedom that other women of her time did not have. As a skilled artist, she had a means of obtaining financial stability. During her training, the geisha became educated, acquired an art and skill, earned her own money, established an independent identity, and pursued a romance if she liked. Even when she was older, she could continue to support herself by being a professional dancer or musician, teacher, or a head of an okiya or an ochaya.

Unlike other Japanese women, in the flower and willow world, women had the command. The women who worked within the flower and willow world were some of the most successful businesswomen in Japan. From the maiko and geiko geisha and the Mother of the okiya to the owner of the ochaya and dancers and musicians who taught the geisha, women held the most significant positions. Even if a geisha chose to leave the flower and willow world, the skills she learned could earn her a living elsewhere, in the arts or the business sector. The geisha made men feel like royalty while simultaneously maintaining independence. It was her independent qualities that made her more desirable.

Within every woman is feminine strength. What defines your individual strength are your qualities that make you uniquely beautiful. It’s how you pursue your passions, how your voice of certainty is assuring, and how at the most difficult moments you are poised and calm. Everyday you decide how you will nurture your independence and become a stronger, complete woman.

You let go of fears and insecurities and are certain that you can be successful.

You recognize a man cannot make you feel fulfilled. You are fulfilled through your own independent acts from which you draw strength and happiness.

You don’t look to a man to lead you. You lead yourself.

You understand a man cannot make you feel secure. By working to become a complete woman you are secure and this is why you stand out to a man.

You listen to your soul and do what feels right rather than do what others say you should do.

You embrace and live out your qualities that define you rather than try to emulate others.

You recognize that an expensive wardrobe will not make you more attractive. Material possessions cannot create lasting beauty.

You are not dependent on a man for your livelihood. You can take care of yourself if required.

You would never be with a man because of what he can materially provide you. You realize that this would only lead to temporary fulfillment and you would be left with long-term emptiness.

You realize that the dedication that you put into your passions help make you a whole woman.

As a whole woman, you feel good about yourself and embrace who you are.

By being an independent woman you are not separate from a man. Nor do you create a power struggle. On the contrary, by being independent you are more able to be in a healthy relationship with a man. When you are not dependent on a man for your happiness, it is better for a man because you are able to love and accept him for who he is and he is naturally encouraged to be the best man he can be. There is no ulterior motive trying to mold a man to fit your needs you feel you are lacking. If you are dependent on a man to fulfill what you believe is missing in your life, whether it is emotional, physical or material, then he is bound to disappoint you because no man is perfect. You will constantly be judging to see if what he does makes you feel good. Another person cannot complete what you feel is missing in your life. You must work to become a complete woman. Then you are able to have a healthy, long-lasting, flourishing relationship.

A strong relationship exists when two whole people come together to share life with each other. Within each of us is love to share. As a whole, independent woman, you are able to give and share your love in its purest form, not needing anything in return. You are experiencing solely the act of sharing and bonding with a man who is meaningful to you. This is the love every man and person wants to receive. There is unique, permanent beauty in an independent woman. It excites and sustains a man over time, creating depth and lasting love far beyond the physical.

Yours in spirit,
Hanako
Author of The Geisha Secret

 

Define Your Unique Beauty

When a man hopes to find the woman who will be his life partner, he is not looking for the woman with the perfect body. He desires to be physically attracted to his life partner, but what makes a woman physically attractive is a combination of factors. A perfect body and flawless face will not make a woman exceptionally beautiful. It’s what resides within her that transforms into unique beauty. There are women who are amazing and therefore amazingly beautiful.

The geisha’s beauty transcended far beyond her exquisite appearance. Behind her porcelain painted face and luxurious silk kimonos was an artist. Her name literally means artist – (gei) meaning art and (sha) meaning person or doer. She committed her life to studying traditional dance, song, music and other refined arts so she could perform at a professional level. She was revered amongst the most accomplished and popular artists in Japan.

The depth of her beauty extended to all parts of her life. The most popular geisha were admired for their sharp minds. They were master conversationalists who were sought out to host private gatherings for the wealthiest and most elite of international society. The geisha’s intelligence and vast accomplishments became more attractive as these traits were balanced with her femininity, humility, kindness, thoughtfulness and compassion. It was her unique beauty that distinguished her and led her to become one of the most desirable women in the world.

What qualities will make you uniquely beautiful?

Your fun spirit and lovely laugh linger in a man’s mind when you are away from him.

You accentuate your feminine traits to make yourself more beautiful and beckon a man’s attention. 

You dress well and tend to your appearance, showing that you want the best for yourself. 

You speak passionately about your interests and life goals.

Your positive disposition brings light to those around you.

You possess humble confidence and have certainty about your life path.

When faced with a challenge or someone who is difficult, you do not react with anger or frustration. You approach challenges with calm and wisdom. 

You are intelligent and thoughtful in all conversations. All who meet you want to converse with you.

Your smile reveals you want to make a positive connection to those around you.

You prevent that which is negative to affect you. Your energy is not worth wasted on feeding into negativity.

You move with graceful confidence, demonstrating you know your worth and value.

You avoid gossiping because you realize everyone has a personal battle and deserves to be helped rather than put down.

You work hard to better all areas of your life – your work, relationships with your friends and family, and your personal development. 

You are committed to your interests and hobbies because it’s important to you to do what you enjoy and they help you become more connected to yourself.

You do what you believe in your soul is right rather than be directed by others because it will only distance you from your true self.

Your beauty should bring out the best of you and make you forever memorable to a man. With age and time, your physical beauty will fade. From today and until the rest of your life, it is your unique inner beauty that will set you apart. The geisha created a beauty and world that uniquely belonged to her, leaving her imprint on the world. Your unique beauty will place you amongst the women most desired by men.

Yours in spirit,
Hanako
Author of The Geisha Secret

 

Bring Out Your Feminine Mystique and Intrigue Men

Your feminine traits are a blessing. When cultivated, they make you beautiful and beckon a man’s attention.  The geisha appreciated the power of her feminine mystique and she accentuated her feminine attributes to influence men.

Every detail of the maiko’s (apprentice geisha) appearance was calculated to emphasize her femininity and seductiveness. Her jet-black hair was worn in the dramatic wareshinobu style, wrapped around a red silk ribbon. Her painted white face was softened with hints of blush on her cheeks and around her eyes. Her eyes were rimmed with purple eyeliner, smudged slightly at the corners to emphasize their perfect almond shape. Her lower lip was painted with crimson lipstick to create a tiny rosebud, while her upper lip remained white, blending with the rest of her face. Her upper chest and most of her shoulders were also painted white, leaving a sharp W shape of bare skin leading down the nape of her neck. Men have described a maiko in full costume as the Japanese ideal of feminine beauty.

By mastering the art of femininity, you can invoke this age-old powerful tool to attract the right man for you. Tend to and highlight your femininity.

The softness of your natural curves is your feminine gift. Accentuate and embrace your female body.

Embracing your femininity is how a blouse falls on your chest, emphasizing the curves of your chest.

Accentuating your femininity is the pink shade of your lips brought out by your lipstick.

Your feminine way is how your eyes sparkle when you smile, igniting a man’s desire to feel the warmth of your touch.

A man is drawn to the sound of your melodic voice. Use your eloquent voice in a light and feminine manner.

A man is enamored with your wit and intelligence when it is expressed in a confident, yet non-confrontational manner. It is why he is drawn to your female way.

Pamper your body, especially your hair, hands and feet. When tended to, they subtly emphasize your natural feminine attributes that distinguish you from a man.

When you cherish and celebrate your femininity, you are comfortable in your own skin and become sexy to a man.

When you are feminine, you are a strong, beautiful woman. For many women, to achieve independence and accomplishment they have instead mimicked men in all aspects of their lives. In the process, they lost sight of their true self as a woman. It takes much more confidence and security to not appear aggressive and in control. The strongest woman is the woman who is comfortable with uncertainty and who does not have to prove her strength to others. When you are feminine, you are demonstrating the power you possess as a woman. This power has intrigued men and ignited their desire since the beginning of time.

Yours in spirit,
Hanako
Author of The Geisha Secret

 

The Art of Subtly Sexy

Every woman is capable of being subtly sexy. Possessing subtle sex appeal will draw a man to you, arousing his inner passion so that he is intrigued to know and have you. It begins with discovering and defining what is sexy about you. If you feel there is nothing sexy about you, then you will discover it is merely a matter of uncovering your sensuality from within you. It should feel natural and be an extension of your being.

To be sexy does not mean you expose your body so you appear naked. Nor should you throw yourself in front of a man to let him know that you are available. Being sexy is about tempting a man with the subtly of your presence, touch, voice and movement. It is your beautiful spirit and energy. It is how you glance at a man, flirting gently with your eyes. It is your genuine smile, the sparkle in your eyes, your gentle laugh and quick wit. It is how you are confident, yet humble and engaging of others’ conversation. It is the way you move gracefully across a room and delicately pick up a glass. It is your touch and smooth legs peeking beneath your skirt. To be subtly sexy is to understand how to be empowered by your best qualities and femininity.

Being subtly sexy isn’t merely a woman’s physical attributes, it’s about every aspect of her being

“To be the woman a man longs for, a woman who only comes around once in a lifetime, it takes a lot more than looks alone.”  A man’s viewpoint on what is subtly sexy

A woman will define what is sexy about her

“I find many things about women sexy, but a woman will define what is sexy about her.  If she feels pretty, then that is sexy. If she is confident, then her confidence is sexy. If she is smart, then her intelligence is sexy. All of these things can turn a man on.”   A man’s viewpoint on what is subtly sexy

A woman’s movements will define how subtly sexy she is

“A woman’s movements will define how she is subtly sexy. The way she touches her hair, the way her lips move, the ways her soft sweet eyes stare back at a man.”  A man’s viewpoint on what is subtly sexy

A woman’s appearance will define how subtly sexy she is

“Sexy is a woman’s smooth, soft skin, her hair cascading off her shoulders, her pink sensual lips, how her clothes define her curves – it’s what she does to make herself look sexy.” A man’s viewpoint on what is subtly sexy

A woman who wears sexy lingerie under her clothes is subtly sexy

“A man can tell when a woman wears nice lingerie. She has this confidence and sexiness about her. It’s like she knows she’s beautiful underneath her clothes. A man can’t resist a woman like this.”  A man’s viewpoint on what is subtly sexy

A woman’s skin is subtly sexy

“There’s nothing as sexy as a woman with skin so soft you could taste her smooth neck and feel the gentleness of her hands on your body without ever touching her.”  A man’s viewpoint on what is subtly sexy

A woman with nice lips is subtly sexy

“When a man sees a woman with nice lips, he imagines how they would taste and how she would kiss.”  A man’s viewpoint on what is subtly sexy

A woman whose neck smells nice is subtly sexy

“If I lean close to a woman with her hair pulled back, revealing her sensual neck and the scent of her delicate perfume floating, I can’t resist. It arouses every part of my body.”  A man’s viewpoint on what is subtly sexy

A woman who has feminine traits is subtly sexy

“Everything feminine about a woman is sexy – her curves, her hair, her breasts. That’s why men are bewitched by women.”  A man’s viewpoint on what is subtly sexy

Subtly sexy is the right expression from a woman’s eyes

“I love a woman’s eyes. They are the window into her soul.  I could stare at a woman’s eyes forever.”  A man’s viewpoint on what is subtly sexy

A woman who feels sexy is subtly sexy even if she is not naturally the most physically beautiful woman

“I think women don’t always understand how they can make themselves more attractive. A woman may not be that naturally pretty, but if she feels sexy, it shows and she is sexy.”  A man’s viewpoint on what is subtly sexy

A woman is subtly sexy if she is confident

“It’s so sexy when a woman is confident…but not conceited about it. She’s self-assured and knows what she does well.”  A man’s viewpoint on what is subtly sexy

A woman who has some mystery to her is subtly sexy

“I like a woman who has some sort of mystery to her. It’s a huge turn on when I’m left to wonder.”  A man’s viewpoint on what is subtly sexy

What makes you uniquely subtly sexy are all of your strengths that define you. Your touch is unique from any other woman. As is your scent, the way you walk across a room, and how you turn to a man and smile. How you reveal your legs, which are uniquely yours, yet subtly sexy to a man, enticing him to be closer to you, wondering how they would feel if he touched them. He hears the gentleness and warmth of your voice as he draws closer, causing him to wonder what else you have to say and pulling him into you. These attributes belong solely to you and will define how you are naturally subtly sexy.

Yours in spirit,
Hanako
Author of The Geisha Secret, Ritual 3: Demonstrate Subtle Sex Appeal

 

What Is the Key to Developing a Relationship with a Man?

There are many aspects to developing a relationship with a man, but there are a few that are especially important. To begin, when you meet a man and make a connection, he is dating you because there are qualities about you he finds unique and intriguing, and especially attractive compared to other women he meets. He feels a spark with you and it is this spark that will continue to make him desire you. As time passes, it is important to keep this spark alive because without it, a relationship can become flat.

I once heard two men on the street talking about how the biggest problem with women is that they become less exciting with time. One said, “I love the beginning of a relationship because there are so many things to discover about my girlfriend. That’s when I’m really into her. Then it starts to fizzle and I’m about to hit a year and the excitement isn’t there anymore. You’re with this woman and it feels like there’s no longer anything exciting about her and you don’t want to be with her anymore.” His friend’s response was, “I know exactly what you mean.”

It doesn’t have to be this way. Every woman has it within her to be the woman who keeps a man intrigued. For all the times a man says he can’t find a woman who excites him for long, another man says his wife is the most amazing and sexiest woman he knows, whether she is thirty, forty, fifty, sixty or seventy years old. The common trait these women share is that they have an enticing energy to them and independent spirit. Others enjoy their company and they are doing interesting things with their lives. With age, the wiser and more confident they’ve become, and the more comfortable they are with themselves. These women also each have individual traits that make them stand out.

This is why it is key to continue to blossom as an individual and independent woman from the beginning of the relationship into the future, as the relationship grows. A man will feel secure and happy in a relationship if he sees a woman wants to be with him because she loves him for who he is. Not because he can take care of her financially or because he could be the father to her children. By remaining independent and having aspects of you that continue to identify you as an individual, you will keep a man intrigued and amazed by you. A man finds it sexy when a woman is accomplished because it shows she is an incredible person who has chosen to be with him. He likes a woman who values his opinion and turns to him for advice, but is not dependent on him. This brings security and balance to the relationship, and eliminates much pressure and stress that can often develop in a relationship.

As you are independent, you have to allow a man the freedom to be himself as well. Neither person in a relationship should be overbearing or controlling. What gives a relationship long-term strength is when each person can be themselves and as a couple, there is a special connection neither has with anyone else. A relationship isn’t about changing each other to conform. It’s about two individuals coming together and growing with each other to make one another stronger as a pair. Feed off of each other’s strengths so that each is a better person by having the other in their life.

It’s also important to stay in the present. One of the quickest ways to sabotage a relationship is to have your mind in the future, especially during the first year of a relationship. It’s sad to hear a woman say years later, “I wanted to get married and have a family. He was there so I thought we should move forward quickly. Looking back, we weren’t right for each other.” Try not to force the relationship to grow. Allow it to evolve naturally. The first year together in a relationship is one of the most exciting times, enjoy your time together in the present.

As you grow together, continue to make time to be intimate with each other so that you keep the passion alive. Not every moment of a relationship will always be filled with passion, but creating intimate moments will help each other remain close to one another. To help keep a man physically passionate about you, continue to look your best, as you did in the beginning of the relationship, so that he still desires you. Don’t allow yourself to become complacent with diet, how you dress and exercise. Also continue to have good, positive energy so that he wants to be close to you all the time. Be the woman whose physical beauty and subtle sex appeal coupled with sharp intellect keeps his desire alive for years to come.

As time passes, continue to always make a point to be thoughtful and kind. This is someone who you especially care about and want to treat the way you would like to be treated. Don’t be afraid to communicate with each other and share your feelings in an articulate, thoughtful manner. It’s not about always being right, it’s about being able to come to a mutual understanding. A healthy relationship shouldn’t have tension and anger. Respect one another, support each other, create a stress-free environment and be able to laugh together. Your relationship should feel like a retreat – a place where there is comfort during hard times and where life is embraced during good times. Some of the most special and memorable moments in your life should come from being together.

By doing these things, you will develop a strong relationship with a man. Every day you will become closer to each other and your connection will grow deeper. Your dedication and devotion will create an irreplaceable bond that will be unique to the two of you.

Yours in Spirit,
Hanako
Author of The Geisha Secret

 

Why the First Date Matters and How to Prepare Yourself

The first date is crucial because it gives you the opportunity to provide your first and lasting impressions to your date. You can do many things to feel great and will leave a man with the best impression. It starts with looking and feeling your best.  Your exterior beauty can only exist as a compliment to your inner beauty.  In many cases, your inner and outer beauty together is what will enthuse a man to ask you on a second date and desire to see you long-term.

As you are preparing yourself for the first date, remember the rules of simple beauty.   Wear clothing that accentuates your best assets and cover yourself enough to leave a man to imagine. Clothing should enhance the silhouette of your body, but not reveal so much to appear naked. Your makeup should also be simple and natural so that you look beautiful, yet as if you are not wearing makeup. Men are often attracted to the woman who stepped out of the gym simply dressed and freshly showered with no makeup and a glow on her face. At this moment, a man is enticed by a woman’s raw beauty, which can also be very sexy to a man.

Once you are physically ready for your first date, you must also be mentally prepared. Allow yourself to be relaxed and light in your demeanor. If you are intense, stressed or nervous, a man will sense it and you will give off negative energy. To relax yourself, keep in mind you are embarking on a journey to meet a new friend – what grows out of this first date is up to both of you.  Remember, on a first date, a man wants to make a positive connection. This positive connection is – She is beautiful. She has a great energy about her. It is also – She is accomplished and intelligent, yet down-to-earth. She made me feel good about myself. She is different from other women.

While men desire a woman who is beautiful, accomplished and intelligent, they also desire a woman who is humble and easygoing. This is not the time to dominate the date or the time to verbally judge him or others. This is also not the time to brag about your accomplishments. It is important to be humble. Also, be engaged and present with your conversation and be thoughtful and kind with your words. Don’t criticize him. This may seem obvious, but many women are unaware when they are being critical. Sharp responses such as, “Why would you do that?” or “I don’t like that” are not well received by men. Also be sure not to monopolize on the conversation. It’s the first date and though you want to be friendly, you should be interested in hearing his ideas and opinions as well.

It is also important you don’t give off any sign you are looking for a relationship. Erase it from your mind completely. Don’t mention it or think about it. Instead, go into the first date with a positive attitude and focus on enjoying a few hours out. Don’t setup expectations beyond that. If a connection is meant to be between the two of you, it will happen naturally if you approach the date with a relaxed, open attitude. If no connection comes out of the date, then it was a few hours of your life that were necessary to experience in order to eventually meet the man who is right for you. It’s nothing more and you shouldn’t allow it to be anything more.  It may be awhile before you meet the one who you make the right connection with and the more comfortable and accepting you are of this fact, the more desirable you are to men because you will appear only obtainable to the right man.

When the first date comes to an end, no matter how well it went, don’t go home with a man and don’t sleep with him. If you do, there is a good chance he won’t call you again, and if he does call you again, he will probably only want to see you a couple of times more. Once you sleep with a man, the mystery of you disappears and a man is less intrigued to pursue you. Be sure not to expose yourself completely on a first date and let a man gradually get to know you. Allow there to be build up to each intimate moment. Even a kiss on the first date should wait until another date if you barely know the person.

As you put these rituals into practice, you’ll find more men asking you out a second time because you will appear beautiful, relaxed, comfortable with yourself, fun, interesting to be around, and desirable to know better. From the beginning of the first date, you are embodying the attributes of the ideal female companion, and at the end of the date, you will leave a man intrigued, hoping to see you again. It is both your inner and outer beauty combined that will transform you into the ideal first date and the ultimate female companion.

Yours in Spirit,
Hanako
Author of The Geisha Secret

 

What Are the Geisha Rituals to ‘Pick Up’ Guys?

A reader of The Geisha Secret asked, “What are the geisha Rituals to ‘pick up’ guys? Are you allowed to talk to men first and if not, what ways should a woman act to get a man to come over to her?

If you desire a man starting a conversation with you, it is best to be physically and mentally prepared. Physically prepared means that you look your best and you are feminine and non-aggressive in your execution and movements. This patience means that you wouldn’t initiate a conversation with a man and you wouldn’t ask a man out because for a man, part of the thrill of pursuing a woman is hearing her say yes when he asks her out. If you push hard to initiate a conversation with a man or you ask him out, you have turned into the aggressor and you are less exciting to a man.

Then how do you get a man to take notice of you and desire to have a conversation with you? Assuming you look your best so that men are initially attracted to you, how you act thereafter will further entice a man to speak to you. Your movements should be subtly sexy. For instance, if your eyes lock with a man from across the room, slowly and gently look away from him in a controlled manner. Then continue to do what you were previously doing. If he is interested in you, you have tempted him and he will be curious to know more about you, as more fully described in Ritual 3 of The Geisha Secret (Ritual 3 Have Subtle Sex Appeal).

Next, you must be in the right mental state, which means your thoughts should coincide with your physical appearance. If you see a man you find attractive, you shouldn’t be thinking I wish he would ask me out. It’s helpful to look in his direction so he sees you notice he is there, but you should lead your eyes elsewhere so you are not gazing at him. Keep yourself occupied with other thoughts because if you’re waiting around for him to speak to you, you’re mentally distracted and your presence can turn into either nervousness or aggressiveness, which a man may sense. You will also appear easily obtainable and you are less intriguing to chase if it’s obvious you are waiting for a man.

Your mind should be in a positive, friendly state because men will be drawn to your energy. You may have noticed that the woman in a bar who isn’t available is often the woman who is approached the most by men. Or when you have a boyfriend you get asked out more than when you are single. When a taken woman walks into a bar, her presence isn’t screaming, “I need a man!” Instead, men are saying to themselves that they would like to know her better. This is because this is the time a woman has a positive spirit about her and a strong inner confidence, yet she is not available so a man feels her independence coupled with her liveliness, which makes a woman more intriguing and attractive.

When you are single, you should have this same presence around men. You should possess a positive, fun spirit while not seeking out a man to ask you on a date. You can think in your mind a man is attractive and throw a glance in his direction to subtly flirt, but you shouldn’t do everything you can to strike up a conversation with him and you absolutely should not ask him out. With the combination of your outer and inner beauty, plus your positive mental state and outgoing attitude, men will take notice of you and find ways to speak to you. When this happens, it is up to you to be at ease, yet lively when you speak to a man, while not revealing too much of yourself in the first conversation, as more fully described in Ritual 9 of The Geisha Secret (Ritual 9 Be The Prize That Is Pursued). Every woman has it within her to attract and intrigue men.

Yours in Spirit,
Hanako
Author of The Geisha Secret

 

What Every Woman Should Know to Win a Man's Heart