Your independence transforms you into a whole woman, possessing qualities that will naturally draw men to want to know you and be with you. By being independent, you create lasting beauty that will bring you more fulfillment in life than physical beauty ever can.
The geisha captured men’s hearts because she was an independent woman. She was considered one of the first modern women in Japan and possessed an independence and freedom that other women of her time did not have. As a skilled artist, she had a means of obtaining financial stability. During her training, the geisha became educated, acquired an art and skill, earned her own money, established an independent identity, and pursued a romance if she liked. Even when she was older, she could continue to support herself by being a professional dancer or musician, teacher, or a head of an okiya or an ochaya.
Unlike other Japanese women, in the flower and willow world, women had the command. The women who worked within the flower and willow world were some of the most successful businesswomen in Japan. From the maiko and geiko geisha and the Mother of the okiya to the owner of the ochaya and dancers and musicians who taught the geisha, women held the most significant positions. Even if a geisha chose to leave the flower and willow world, the skills she learned could earn her a living elsewhere, in the arts or the business sector. The geisha made men feel like royalty while simultaneously maintaining independence. It was her independent qualities that made her more desirable.
Within every woman is feminine strength. What defines your individual strength are your qualities that make you uniquely beautiful. It’s how you pursue your passions, how your voice of certainty is assuring, and how at the most difficult moments you are poised and calm. Everyday you decide how you will nurture your independence and become a stronger, complete woman.
You let go of fears and insecurities and are certain that you can be successful.
You recognize a man cannot make you feel fulfilled. You are fulfilled through your own independent acts from which you draw strength and happiness.
You don’t look to a man to lead you. You lead yourself.
You understand a man cannot make you feel secure. By working to become a complete woman you are secure and this is why you stand out to a man.
You listen to your soul and do what feels right rather than do what others say you should do.
You embrace and live out your qualities that define you rather than try to emulate others.
You recognize that an expensive wardrobe will not make you more attractive. Material possessions cannot create lasting beauty.
You are not dependent on a man for your livelihood. You can take care of yourself if required.
You would never be with a man because of what he can materially provide you. You realize that this would only lead to temporary fulfillment and you would be left with long-term emptiness.
You realize that the dedication that you put into your passions help make you a whole woman.
As a whole woman, you feel good about yourself and embrace who you are.
By being an independent woman you are not separate from a man. Nor do you create a power struggle. On the contrary, by being independent you are more able to be in a healthy relationship with a man. When you are not dependent on a man for your happiness, it is better for a man because you are able to love and accept him for who he is and he is naturally encouraged to be the best man he can be. There is no ulterior motive trying to mold a man to fit your needs you feel you are lacking. If you are dependent on a man to fulfill what you believe is missing in your life, whether it is emotional, physical or material, then he is bound to disappoint you because no man is perfect. You will constantly be judging to see if what he does makes you feel good. Another person cannot complete what you feel is missing in your life. You must work to become a complete woman. Then you are able to have a healthy, long-lasting, flourishing relationship.
A strong relationship exists when two whole people come together to share life with each other. Within each of us is love to share. As a whole, independent woman, you are able to give and share your love in its purest form, not needing anything in return. You are experiencing solely the act of sharing and bonding with a man who is meaningful to you. This is the love every man and person wants to receive. There is unique, permanent beauty in an independent woman. It excites and sustains a man over time, creating depth and lasting love far beyond the physical.
Yours in spirit,
Author of The Geisha Secret